December 29th, 2024

Blue skies all-round, and way too hot! - (Ryuusei Parade - DRAMATIC STARS/S.E.M/Jupiter)

...And like that, Christmas is over. It feels like it goes by faster and faster each year, all of the months do, really... I had a pretty good one, even if I was a little nostalgic for the dormitory Christmas I had last year with everyone. I've got fond memories of it, even if I'm not in contact with a lot of people from then anymore.

I still feel a bit depressed. I'm getting kinda sick of it, really. Like, who's depressed during the warmest months of the year with the best weather?? That's so cringe. I've done my best to go outside and lie in the sun for my Government Mandated Vitamin D Time and make sure to spend time playing games with my friends, but it feels like it doesn't really help sometimes. Like I said before, I've had this big itch to... well do something. I managed to write a small SideM fanfic for my friend Ruby as a secret santa present, but I want to do... more. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas, and I want to draw characters I like. It's weird, I get into this mindset of wanting to draw... then drawing for a while, and completely falling off because I feel terrible about my skill level and like I'm not making any kind of improvement. At the very least, my own poor attempts at art really do make me appreciate the work of my friends and peers, so that's good at least.

I don't know what else to write, in all honesty. I started reading The Tatami Galaxy on my new Kindle this week. I'm glad I managed to get one because I feel like my shelves are way too packed as-is. I put together the Nanoblocks Himeji Castle set my partner got me for Christmas, and it was really fun and relaxing. Honestly, I went full iPad kid mode on that thing. Was great. I've also been pretty lax on cleaning and organising my room, and am kind of procrastinating doing my laundry as I type this. Something something, no motivation. At least I applied to another job today. Job hunting is still bleak, I'm expecting to go at least another two or so months without a job given the holiday period. That's fine, I can deal with it somehow.

Hmm... otherwise, I'm thinking of just making a dedicated 2025 blog page and limiting this one to just December. My new microblog makes it easier for me to update a little more frequently on happenings in my life, so I think monthly round-up-style blogposts would be a bit better. I also don't have much to update on in long-form content anyway, at least often enough for a dedicated seasonal blog.

December 12th, 2024

Drizzly, stupidly humid - (Beautiful Lie, SECONDWALL)

Second somewhat-belated diary entry! I already know I'm gonna have to post both entries I've written up at once because I've been ridiculously slack on working on my code. Whatever, my site, my decision. Slumps will do that to a person. I've been ranting in my Google Docs about people being stupid misogynists again like some kind of madwoman while eating some sushi, so I might post that sometime too. I don't know, though. I get kind of touchy posting my opinions online because of how terrible reading comprehension is nowadays.

Anyway, I don't even know why I like writing these so much. My life is pretty boring, in all seriousness! At the moment I'm sleeping late and waking up later, forgetting to feed my Snorlax in Pokemon Sleep, and opting for takeaways for lunch instead of cooking actual meals (though, I did make some chicken and rice for lunch today, hororay). I've just been pretty drained lately, and I think having to deal with my parents is part of that. Wow, I sound like such a teenager when I say that, don't I? I kind of dislike that my parents and I are so different, particularly my mother and I, because it makes some things pretty difficult. Like driving. If it weren't for the fact I need my license, the only driving I would be doing is driving her up the wall.

There's a lot I've been meaning to do lately, mostly reading and coding... and translating, I've had a real itch since pioniX's new song came out the other week. Instead, I've been playing a little bit of my video game backlog and taking things day-by-day. I'm a tiny bit burnt out from FFXIV at the moment, but occasionally doing stuff with my FC has been pretty fun. As a side note, it's really great to be in an online space dominated by people like me... and by that, I mean Kiwis and Aussies. No offense to any Americans who may be reading, but sometimes, I just like hanging out with people who grew up in the same sort of culture as me... and our silly neighbors who like to claim your famous and iconic dessert as their own. Ditch-beef aside, they're all very mature, chill and fun to be around. Some even showed me how to mod my game, so I've got some very cute stuff for my WOL and am on the hunt for more. It's pretty nice!

Anyway, like I was saying, video game backlog. I started playing Persona 3: Reload, and oh my God am I loving it so far. I've been a big Personahead for almost a decade now (best game IMO is 2IS... any Lisa and Maya fans in chat?), so getting to play a remake of a game I wanted to play so bad for myself is really satisfying! The UI looks so smooth and gorgeous, I really just can't get over how much fun it is. I like Akihiko by the way, I think he's neat. I don't know too much about him at the moment since I'm still so early in the game, but I know for a fact he's a character I would've yoomed for in high school. I'm insanely predictable.

As for training... it's almost over for the year. I'm only giving myself two weeks off over Christmas, though. And that's not by choice, as my local pool and the dojo are both closed for the exact amount of time. Well, in the case of the dojo, it officially starts up about a week and a half later, but I'm going for unofficial training times since I want to do tournaments in 2025. I guess that just means I should train at home, or maybe go for runs in the evening. I don't like running, but given that I can't swim in a 25m pool for two-odd weeks, I think it'd be a good way to keep myself from regressing when it comes to my stamina. Every week at training I hit a new personal best in distance for laps, which is usually the best part of them. I want to do strength training as well, for the sake of making my push-ups better, but the weights we have at home are too light to make any meaningful difference for me. Maybe I'll get a gym membership? Gym girl era? Nah, gyms are scary and I don't like wearing shorts around men. I went for a while when I lived in Nagoya, but I had no idea what I was doing... other than the insane calf raises an ex-coastguard bloke got me on. I had the worst lactic acid buildup in my life because of those, and I could hardly walk around or even stand up normally for nearly a week after that. But yeah, I'll probably figure something out. And keep eating healthy. Anyway, I need to go to bed, I'm exhausted!

December 6th, 2024

Drizzly and overcast, rather depressing for the season - (sweet dream, 4s4ki)

Oh, December already. It's certainly come around quickly, hasn't it? Knowing that the year is coming to an end already has me feeling incredibly weird, given where I was this time last year and my current circumstances. I had another entry written up, a lot peppier than this one, but I've all but scrapped it at this point to try and be a bit more "real". This slump is kicking my ass, but I'm taking solace in the fact that it's only temporary and next year will surely be kinder to me than the latter half of '24. Anyway, that's why this layout is so simple. That, and I wanted to do something with this mangacap from Blue Period. I really like it, I think it kind of sums up the end-of-year grind pretty well.

I've been overcome with nostalgia as of late. Aside from the various videos from train otaku that have been all over my feed documenting station jingles and the like, my partner is back in Japan while I'm stuck at home in New Zealand, and I miss him quite a bit. I'm a tiny bit jealous he gets to return so soon (even though it's winter, and I prefer our summers because they're just mild enough to not suck complete ass), but I'm trying to get past it by telling myself I'll be able to go back again someday, maybe even with him. Though, it's not quite the same, is it? Living in Japan is quite different to travelling around the country for a set period of time. Sure, I went on trips and found it easy to travel solo too, but the daily life and the people I would spend time with are to a degree what I yearn for. I still keep in touch with many of them through social media, including our beloved old-man caretaker who posts a bajillion times a day and sends me a little "Kia Ora!" every now and again. Though, it's not the same as shooting the shit in the kitchen with your mates at two in the morning on a weekday after going out for conveyer belt sushi, or sneaking out for a midnight conbini run in the warm spring nights & the ensuing wait for someone to let us back in because we were the only dorm with a curfew. Also I miss the trains. That sounds so stereotypically autistic of me, I know, but they have some real nice trains there. It's so convenient and well-priced, and I loved riding the trains to just clear my head. Meitetsu, I yearn for your beautiful bright-red 100 series train that runs on the Tsurumai/Toyota line like a lover. Please turn it into an ikemen so I can ship myself with it, I'm so serious (maybe like 5% serious, in actuality).

Otherwise... This week has felt busy but also not busy at the same time. I graduated last Friday and went out for dinner/drinks with my parents and partner. I saw my partner off for his flight and spent his birthday with him (he really liked the present I got him— PJ shorts with the little soy sauce fish bottles on them). I did more swimming. I got injured at Karate during sparring and have a very big and very purple bruise on my kneecap, so I'm trying to take it easy. We bought a new Christmas tree to replace the old one, and started putting up our Christmas decor. Spotify wrapped happened, and meeting my partner completely fucked up my stats to absolutely nobody's surprise. Curse you, yearning. I'll get revenge on him next year, since my recommendations haven't done the same to his from what I know. I don't know, pretty mundane... I just want to get more stuff done if I can. So yeah, that's about it from me for this entry, I suppose.